Well, Well, Well…

Or 3 Rules for Getting Married

Here are three questions to ask the young man dating your daughter: (1) Do you wish to marry my daughter? (2) Do you have a job? (3) Do you honor your parents?

If his answer to any one question, or to all three questions is, “Well…” followed by a pause, it’s a bad sign. He’s trying to transform the truth into something he hopes you’ll find palatable. Do you wish to marry my daughter? Well…I’d really rather just hang out with her and have fun till she realizes I am never going to marry her and she kicks me to the curb. Do you have a job? Well…I am not sure how to explain to you that there is no way I’d tie myself down to a stupid job that would interfere with all the things I really enjoy doing. Do you honor your parents? Well… my parents and I have had our ups and downs and we don’t really see much of one another.

The three wells in the title above do not refer to these three wells uttered by the unimpressive boy. The three wells in the title are linked to marriage, specifically referring to the well at which we encounter Isaac’s wife, Rebecca; the well at which Jacob’s wife, Rachel, is identified; and the well at which at which we first see Moses’ wife, Tziporah.

All three well accounts share three common features:

(1) Animals are being cared for.

And she hastened, and she emptied her pitcher into the trough, and she ran again to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels.
(Genesis 24:20)

While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess.
(Genesis 29:9)

Now the chief of Midian had seven daughters, and they came and drew [water], and they filled the troughs to water their father’s flocks.
(Exodus 2:16)

(2) A sense of haste and urgency.

And the servant ran toward her, and he said, “Please let me sip a little water from your pitcher.” And she said, “Drink, my lord.” And she hastened and lowered her pitcher to her hand, and she gave him to drink.
(Genesis 24:17-18)

And Jacob told Rachel…that he was the son of Rebecca, and she ran and told her father.
(Genesis 29:12)

They came to their father Reuel, and he said, “Why have you come so quickly today?”
(Exodus 2:18)

(3) The Hebrew word NaSHaK means ‘water’ as a verb.
And she said, “Drink, my lord.” And she hastened and lowered her pitcher to her hand, and she gave him to drink.
(Genesis 24:18)

…Jacob drew near and rolled the rock off the mouth of the well, and he watered the sheep of Laban, his mother’s brother.
(Genesis 29:10)

Now the chief of Midian had seven daughters, and they came and drew [water], and they filled the troughs to water their father’s flocks.
(Exodus 2:16)

Three characteristics that should surround the enterprise of launching a marriage are being highlighted. The first is a caring and compassionate disposition. The two Biblical characters identified as hunters, Nimrod and Esau, are not viewed as models. However, leaders like Moses and King David, though capable of battle when necessary, started out by caring for animals.

Biblical law emphasizes concern for the welfare of all of God’s creatures. We are permitted to use animals for the benefit of humans, but never with any unnecessary pain or distress. We may not slaughter a mother animal in the same day as its offspring (Leviticus 22:28) and must send away a mother bird when taking the eggs (Deuteronomy 22:6-7). We may not plow using a strong animal in tandem with a weaker (Deuteronomy 22:10) because it is harder for the animals. We must relieve animals of excessive burden (Exodus 23:5 and Deuteronomy 22:4). Each of the above-mentioned brides was engaged in caring for animals. Being gentle and filled with compassion for all living creatures is a desirable characteristic for all future spouses.

The second common characteristic is haste. A languid attitude towards marriage is not ideal. Both bride and groom should feel an urgency to become united in marriage and their respective families should share that feeling. Obviously, we’re not talking of racing into a marriage irresponsibly, but the attitude that allows dating for year after year with marriage a far off and not to be talked of possibility is a badly mistaken view

Lastly all three marriages involve a well and conveying water. Throughout the Hebrew Scriptures, water is a metaphor for Godly wisdom. These three wonderful marriages remind us that ideally, a couple decides to marry not only because of physical attraction but because of a shared commitment to God’s blueprint of reality.

Remaining single can make it challenging to achieve one’s destiny. While sometimes the ability to marry is out of our hands, choosing singleness encourages loneliness and inhibits complete growth. With marriage out of favor in today’s society, it is vital for all of us to focus on how the first two chapters of Genesis highlight its importance. When the culture is beaming out an anti-Biblical message, we must double down on examining each word used when God lays out His blueprint for successful living. This is what I aim to do in Scrolling through Scripture, and I am delighted that Units 1 and 2 are generating such a wonderful response. In this season of giving, give yourself or someone you love a deeper look into Genesis. We’re offering you a promo code for $10 off on Unit 1 to start you on the journey. Just enter SCROLL10OFF at checkout. Coupon valid through December 24, 2021

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