Was My Vasectomy a Mistake?

I have been listening to you for 4 years. I am very thankful for all the wisdom you share through your podcasts, books and experience. I am a Happy Warrior, I am a 39 year old male, married with two beautiful kiddos 18 and 15.

I recently heard your interview with Linh Podetti on The Spiritual Secrets to Business Success. In the interview you mentioned vasectomies and their impact on the infinite. Can you share any knowledge or testimonials you may have on vasectomy reversals, also if you would encourage a reversal (for physical and spiritual reasons) for a male who now regrets having gotten one 13 years ago? (of course, wife being on board)

Blessings you and Susan,

Tony, Houston, Texas

Dear Happy Warrior Tony,

We are so much more comfortable receiving this letter from you than we are when we receive a similar letter from a man who has undergone the procedure before having a family. And yes, there are men who make this foolish decision and yes, there are doctors who will perform the operation without reservations despite the patient being in his early twenties and unmarried.

We have spoken and written on this topic in connection with business because a very common career handicap is imposing limits upon oneself. This happens when, for various reasons we have discussed, a person says, “I just want a nice small business that doesn’t get too big,” or “I just want a nice job without too much responsibility”. The trouble is that like any living organism, a business and a career are either growing or shrinking. They just never stay the same. So, fearing growth is tantamount to accepting a diminishing financial reality.

One of America’s great business legends concerns brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald, who in 1954 hired a salesman by the name of Ray Kroc to become their franchise agent. Ray Kroc soon became frustrated by the brothers because they only wanted to create a handful of McDonald’s restaurants whereas Kroc envisaged thousands. He quickly bought them out, giving each brother a clear million dollars. Back then a million was real money but nevertheless, it was a small fraction of the value their business would soon acquire in the hands of a man who reached for the infinite. Kroc saw no limits.

It is a mindset, Tony, and mindsets are strange, unpredictable things brought into existence by intangibles and often erased by unexpected phenomena.

One of the things that contributes greatly to a man’s sense of infinite possibility and to his confidence to handle the infinite is his masculine sexuality, involving as it does, the possibility of limitless procreation.

This is one of the contributing factors in men typically being far less risk-averse than women. Their mindset just doesn’t wrap itself around the concept of one egg per month. Actually, a hundred million PER DAY!! is more the way that men subconsciously think. Obviously, men relate differently from women to the idea of the infinite.

That said, you have to weigh how important that all is to you at this stage of your life against the time, cost, and inconvenience that a reversal procedure would incur. Furthermore, there is the question of how likely a reversal procedure is to be successful.

We want to stress that infinite thinking is by no means impossible for a man who has undergone a vasectomy. You just may have to work at evoking it a bit harder than the next guy. It is one of several factors. Not an insignificant factor, but not an absolute controlling one either.

We are not knowledgeable on the current state of medical expertise in this field and in any event, we understand that it may have much to do with who did the initial surgery and how that was done.

We are sorry that you were trapped by the social and medical propaganda at the time. We know that it was common back then to promise patients no adverse reactions. They meant physically. They had no awareness of spiritual consequences.

Wishing you limitlessness in outlook in all your 5Fs,

Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin

This Ask the Rabbi is in memory of Izhar (61), Gila (59), and Daniel (28) Peled, who were murdered together on October 7, 2023. May God avenge their blood.

With prayers for the safe return of Kfir Bibes, who turned 10-months-old in the hands of barbarians after being taken hostage on October 7, 2023, and is reported to have been transferred to another terrorist group. May he be returned with the other members of his family and all the remaining hostages.

What do you think? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this Ask the Rabbi & Susan post.
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