I have listened to your analysis of romantic relationships and am left wondering what your best advice is to a charming, active, healthy, financially well off, single woman who is over 50 who dearly misses the intimacies of married life?
I am called intimidating and “a tough act to follow”.
As always, we start with the disclaimer that without knowing you personally we might be way off the mark in our advice. However, we hope we can at least encourage you in the right direction.
You certainly have a lot going for you. At the risk of sounding completely politically incorrect (all right, we enjoy being politically incorrect but it still is risky in our “gotcha” society) perhaps you have too much going for you?
How can that possibly be? As hard as the social engineers have tried to change human nature, men still thrill to being needed. We don’t know who calls you intimidating and a “tough act to follow,” but whoever is doing so may be trying to point you in the right direction.
We aren’t suggesting that you give away your money or damage your health. We certainly would encourage you to stay charming and active. We don’t mean that you should hide your intelligence or conceal your competence. But perhaps you could nurture a softer side of yourself?
We have a suspicion that not only might this help your love life, but it could help friendships as well. Practice giving your point of view in a gentler way and allowing others to speak without pointing out their mistakes. Allow others to take care of you rather than always being in the leadership role. You might even try dressing in ways that are more feminine and soft.
We hope that you will rediscover a part of you that you might have suppressed and that will round out your character. We sincerely wish you speedy success in meeting a worthy partner.
Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin