When trying to evoke what a tough mother I had been, my children sometimes mention that I often ruthlessly defeated them when we played Candyland®, a game that appeals to the five-and-under crowd. Clearly, only the most heartless mother would fail to manipulate the cards allowing her toddler to jump ahead by drawing Queen Frostine. A compassionate mom whose child picked Plummy, a card necessitating going back almost all the way to the beginning, would lovingly say, “There, there, don’t worry. You can pick again.” I was not that mother.
It’s easy to divide the country into liberals and conservatives, pro-2nd Amendment or gun seizers and larger government advocates vs. those who champion personal responsibility. But maybe the country also divides into those whose mothers (and teachers and coaches) always let them win and those whose mothers and mentors tolerated frustration and tears, teaching their children to withstand the disappointment of sometimes losing.
Too many Americans fall into the wrong category. They believed the rhetoric telling them that Barack Obama’s election was a sea change for positive transformation and that those marching leftward would never lose an election again. They celebrated when the Judiciary forced anti-God morality on their fellow citizens. Surrendering the ability to think for themselves and ask questions, they only pay attention to that which (as my husband would say) massages them with warm butter. They cannot have fairly and squarely lost the 2016 election, because they are not supposed to ever lose. The world owes them happiness and respect.
To be honest, I sometimes did use sleight of hand to allow my children to win Candyland®. Often, the game just had to end so life could go on. But, I did not do that too often. Yes, the game helped teach counting and colors. More importantly, it taught sportsmanship and the idea that even after a crushing defeat, you don’t throw the cards across the room and have a tantrum, instead you pick up the pieces and try again.
A minor holiday? NO
A post-Biblical holiday? NO
A war in the past? NO
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No nation that ignores the eternal rules of order can expect the propitious smiles of heaven.
George Washington.
Its the end of the 6th day. The most exciting time in human history. The adversarys days are number. Soon a Jew will rule the world from Jerusalem. Can’t wait.
so very well said! this is such an important lesson/value of life/mental growth to learn! thank you!
So lovely to hear from you, Yaffa!
At some point, those of us. who understand that this political season, such as it is, will have to be present with strength, love and understanding to those who realize that they’ve (and we) have been lied to by the enemy…that’s where our collective strength as Chosen and Grafted come into His Plans – to help guide those who are disillusioned to The ONE they can trust wholeheartedly regardless of worldly circumstances. I’m beginning to see it even now…and only trust in Him to help me be His representative of His love. Thank you Rabbi & Susan Lapin!!!
GR8 post. I taught my Nephew how to play Chess at age 10/11. Then I informed him I WILL beat him every game till he chose to win and figured out HOW…..5 years later….I ATE CROW and loved every bit of it……
I can only imagine how elated he felt when he beat you – the is truly acquiring self-esteem.
Neweverymoment, Deb:
“If you can meet with triumph or disaster/And treat those two impostors just the same”–Rudyard Kipling, “IF”. Thanks again, Susan (and Rabbi), for cutting to the heart of the issue. My mother (among many others, I’m sure!) used to ask, “Why do I have to get nasty and disagreeable before you pay attention?” My uncle and aunt, stationed in India many years ago, mild-mannered people, asked the same question of their Indian servants. The response was, “We didn’t know you were serious.” Today’s political mess doesn’t split quite the same way, but ends up in roughly the same spot: “Then conquer we must/When our cause, it is just:/And this be our motto: In God is our trust”, but we have to mean it and live by it, not just give it lip service. And yes, true debate needs to be taught. There’s a difference between “participation trophies” and honorable mention. Happy Hanukkah (Let there be light) and merry Christmas (birthday party for a nice Jewish boy) to all! May it lead to a blessed 2020.
Deb, I think a lot of parents end up screaming because they have taught their children that they aren’t serious in most of what they say and so the kids ignore the parents until the parents scream and threaten. I do think Donald Trump’s election was a “scream” by those of us who were appalled at the spineless wimpiness and lack of understanding of what was going on by candidates such as McCain and Romney, beloved of the Republican elites and very unbeloved by the rank and file.
From one mean Mom to another, Susan, happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!
Thank you, Kristin! Wishing all our friends a Happy Chanukah or Merry Christmas and praying for a blessed 2020.
Dear Susan,
I was fortunate to grow up with 3 brothers and four sisters. I was the fourth child born. We grew up poor too which I am now grateful for, as I appreciate things more because I had nothing handed to me. We learned the art of striving and not a one of us would be labeled lazy. My mother always said that people marveled at how well we were behaved in public.
As far as the current state of affairs of our political representatives goes, it is absolutely embarrassing. I can imagine other countries laughing at us, not to mention what the younger people of this country think.
Terry Sterling
Terry, this impeachment is a joke. What is worrisome is that those in college are being taught, I assume, that this is how the serious business of the country gets done. Complete trashing of the Constitution and the country’s history.
I’m learning to change my perspective from Left and Right (as both can be wrong) to healthy and unhealthy. I grew up in unhealthy. After years of counseling, including scripture study, and a lot of work, changing my attitudes and perspectives, I’m learning to be healthy. Being healthy means accepting personal responsibility, accepting failure and success with grace, working to become a better person by choosing to follow God’s way. Thanks for the great analogy and important lessons, ones I wish I’d learned sooner, but blessedly change is always a possibility. You and your husband have helped me change for the better. Bless you. Happy Hanukkah.
Judy, what an inspiring letter. Yes, rather than have a Right or Left philosophy it is best to know what one’s core beliefs and principles are and then to ask who in the current situation is best representing those ideas. If only more people had your growth mindset!
As a child I never could win a debate with my Dad. I was angry at the time but much grateful today for toughening me up.
Have you noticed that debate is a lost art, Lissa?
I agree wholeheartedly. I didn’t let my kids win either and they turned out ok. Life is full of ups and downs.
I’m afraid there are quite a few people who don’t know that’s how life works, Fran.
Character is not built upon situations in whcih everyone is a winner. Boy, that tenth place ribbon means alot! One can’t take pride in a non-accomplishment. I believe that we were meant to work in order to achieve our successes (and to learn from our failures). And that’s my 2 cents plain.
Merry Christmas & the Happiest of New Years to all!
And a joyous Christmas to you, Gordy.
I was just trying to teach this very thing to an adult. They were not open to truth, just the leftist narrative. It’s a shame that their version of diversity means label and divide and their version of acceptance is really “exceptance”
I’m afraid so, Regena. And then there are good people who still believe that papers like the NY Times are printing news rather than propaganda.