Posts tagged " communication "

The Write Way

June 19th, 2018 Posted by Thought Tools 21 comments

In our age, when electronic communication has all but supplanted ink on paper, it is easy to overlook the great value of a handwritten letter.  Precisely because it is so effortless and inexpensive to dispatch messages, the value of an ink on paper letter has risen even higher. In an age when we communicate online with all our friends at once, a handwritten letter emphasizes, “I really care about you.”

History gifts us with letters between John and Abigail Adams as well as Winston Churchill and his wife Clementine.  Written with ink on paper, the letters reveal warmth of feeling and closeness that the men’s political nemeses probably never suspected they possessed. Letters between parents and children, friends, and even business acquaintances give us glimpses into multi-faceted lives otherwise too easy to dismiss with stereotypes and generalizations.

The handwritten word lets us forge relationships while hasty, impulsive electronic communication often serves to sever them. Let’s take a lesson from the years preceding the Flood.

And it was, when man began to increase…
(Genesis 6:1)

ר י ב                         ל ר ו ב

to increase                  quarrel

                                 

V o R al                           V i R

 In Hebrew, the word for “increase” is ‘laRoV’. The word is similar to the word for quarrel, ‘RiV’. In Hebrew, words that share core letters beg to be examined together. Ancient Jewish wisdom tells us that this phrase doesn’t refer to population size. It is describing people who have lost a shared moral framework and see each other as rivals rather than partners. Ten friends is a stimulating group; ten random people is an annoyance; ten enemies is a mob. Genesis 6:2 goes on to say how women became the victims of this lack of fraternal feeling. Economically, sexually and socially, things rapidly went downhill from there.

Now is an appropriate time to make sure that you are building real relationships. Writing handwritten letters is one helpful tool. Here are five tips:

1.   Obtain a nice fountain pen rather than using the promotional ballpoint pen from your last hotel room.

2.   Acquire some good quality notepaper rather than using an 8 ½ X 11 piece of white paper you removed from the copier machine.  Get matching envelopes.

3.   Keep pen, paper, envelopes and stamps together in some handy location so that when you consider writing a letter, you can instantly follow up with the action.

4.   Write alone and in silence, far from your computer and phone.  You’ll enjoy seeing how pen and paper stimulate your brain once you’ve banished the electronics.

5.   Think about what you wish to achieve and plan an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.  Write a draft; hone it and write a final copy.

You’ll get better and better at handwriting letters; your penmanship and style will both quickly improve.  Don’t allow thoughts of posterity to inhibit you; not all your letters will be worth keeping and not all will be kept.  Every now and again, you’ll write a gem that will show up years into the future and bring delight to others. 

When Susan and I write books we are actually writing long letters to our readers, even when the format doesn’t reflect that. We appreciate how many of you read these “letters” we have written. For only a few more days all of the paperback books in our collection (and some by other authors we recommend) are on sale. We hope these add a touch of entertainment, growth and inspiration to your beach outing or summer picnic.

Summer Reading Sale
all paperbacks only $9.99 apiece!

The Skeptic and the Rabbi Thought Tools Vol. 1 Thought Tools Vol. 2 Thought Tools Vol. 3 Hands Off! This May Be Love I Only Want to Get Married Once Dear Rabbi and Susan 

Seeing Eye-to-Eye

June 20th, 2017 Posted by Thought Tools 19 comments

Reading your rabbi’s observations about a baby’s behavior is probably going to be as incongruous as overhearing a cannibal enthusing about a veggie burger made of sweet potato, quinoa and black beans with a little creamy lime aioli drizzled on top. (Not sure what lime aioli is?  Me neither.)

Nonetheless, I must tell you of something I recently noticed in an extremely cute little one year-old.  While I was talking to him, his eyes were not on the only moving part of my face, my mouth.  Instead, he gazed into my eyes.  This made no sense to me because in general, babies’ eyes are drawn to movement.  Yet while I was talking to him, he watched my motionless eyes instead of my moving mouth.

I was so puzzled by this that I tested it on a few other pre-talking little toddlers and discovered they all had this disconcerting tendency.  I am obviously accustomed to adults looking into one another’s eyes. But babies?  It would make most sense to me if their eyes were drawn to the mouths of those talking to them. But if they are not going to be looking at the moving mouth, why are they looking at the eyes rather than the conspicuous nose or huge expanse of forehead?

Ancient Jewish wisdom might suggest an explanation.  In the Lord’s language, Hebrew, the word for eye is AYIN while the word for mouth is PEH.  Those two words, AYIN and PEH are also the names of two consecutive letters in the Hebrew alphabet, the sixteenth and seventeenth letters, respectively.

(more…)

Crime Doesn’t Say

April 25th, 2017 Posted by Thought Tools 36 comments

On news broadcasts and interviews I have noticed something scary.  Boys involved in violent crime are largely illiterate.  This chilling correlation has been confirmed to me by friends in criminal justice and law enforcement.  You’d think that just by the laws of probability, at least some assailants and murderers when caught would have more to say than just meaningless gesticulations and obscenities.  I have been looking for just one carjacker who, upon being apprehended, told the policeman, “It’s challenging to understand, officer, I know, but while taking my afternoon constitutional, I was seized by an irresistible desire to inflict physical harm on an innocent citizen and to transfer his motor vehicle to my possession.”

Ancient Jewish wisdom suggests that the desire to communicate is present from birth and that parents who neglect this most crucial of their responsibilities may be complicit in their children’s later lack of socialization skills.

(more…)

Resentment in Marriage

April 30th, 2015 Posted by Ask the Rabbi No Comment yet

Question:

I have been reading your book Buried Treaure and one of the things you said was that if either partner in marriage feels like a martyr then its very bad.
 
Can you explain further why and what that portends?

∼ Maureen

Answer:

Dear Maureen,

You are referring to the chapter in our book, Buried Treasure, on the Hebrew word, KoRBaN, sacrifice. In that chapter, we say that giving is vital for a marriage, but that the giving is of a joyful, not resentful nature. (Speaking overall – obviously, there are times we need to push ourselves to give when we just want to focus on ourselves. Or when there is only one Godiva chocolate left. At those times, our hearts may not be overflowing with good cheer.)

(more…)

X