Pride and Envy

Dear Rabbi Lapin,

I would like to respectfully request that you and your lovely helpmate deal specifically with the evil one’s twin sons, envy and pride. It seems to me that when the thin veneer of civilization still in place is pried away, we find these two very busy festering away, rotting the spirits of all from kings to peasants.

I would very much like to know what Ancient Jewish Wisdom and the great rabbinic Torah scholars have to say to the modern-day Jew or Christian about how to deal with this two headed ubiquitous evil and how to counter it in our lives. I’m sure I am not alone in seeking your teaching on this subject.

With great regard, Proud Happy Warrior and podcast regular,

Steve Smith

Dear Steve,

Thank you for being a proud Happy Warrior and a regular podcast listener. You give meaning to our days.

We found it interesting that you zeroed in on pride and envy—two basic human emotions that, as you say, challenge people at all levels of society. Ancient Jewish wisdom is extremely negative on these traits. Let’s take a look at it the best we can in a short answer.

The Hebrew word usually translated as humble—the opposite of proud one would think—is ANaV. It appears many times in Psalms and most famously describes Moses in Numbers 12:3. In English, if we search for synonyms, we see words like meek and submissive. However, Moses was anything but! He threatened Pharaoh, countered Korach, led the Israelites into battle and more. ANaV means being very sure of one’s worth; after all we are created in the image of God! Yet, the ANaV recognizes that his or her gifts, whether of intellect, talent, or personality are blessings that God gives with the expectation that we will work on improving and utilizing them in His service. That is worlds away from concluding that we are great and as such intrinsically better than others. Our strengths allow us to care for God’s other children, not to take advantage of them.

Envy is so poisonous that after prohibiting murder, adultery, and stealing, the Tenth Commandment forbids us from even thinking of wanting what doesn’t belong to us such as our neighbor’s wife or possessions. We are expected to control not only our actions but also our thoughts. We need to respect others. What belongs to them does not belong to us.

We may certainly yearn to have things, positions, and talents. However, this is not a zero-sum game; if my neighbor has a nice house, I too can want a nice house, but not his nice house. Once my neighbor marries, his wife must be out of my mind completely, though I should make myself into a man who will attract a fantastic woman. Envy specifically includes wishing bad on someone else, whether hoping to take away from them or even to celebrate their downfall. That is poisonous and is responsible for much unhappiness today.

We hope this gives you something to ponder,

Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin

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