California is moving towards requiring her publicly traded companies to enforce gender quotas on their boards. I am against quotas in general and find that, as with most social manipulation, the results are rarely those that are promised by their promoters. While I think there is every chance that this legislation will move forward, I worry that the biggest outcome will be more California businesses relocating to Texas. Unfortunately, the relocated management will then probably retain its destructive voting habits and continue to support the types of politicians and policies that made California uninhabitable. However, despite my usual wariness of quotas, and my concern that Elizabeth Warren is pushing for this on a national level, I am wondering whether my own family needs to use strong-arm techniques to get more equitable representation on our family What’s App chat.
My mind is thinking back to an incident that occurred a few months ago. It was a regular work day. Actually, it was more pressured than usual given that a number of us had extra activities over the coming week. Yet, our family What’s App group was active, as it almost always is. Considering that there are many of us, including children who at that time lived in Israel and a son who frequently works the night shift, What’s App is a great way for my husband and me and all our children and their spouses to stay in touch. Some of us monitor it almost all the time while others resolutely only check in at day’s end. The problem is that more than one son-in-law—and we know who you are—thinks that we are way too chatty. Showing a complete lack of appreciation for the fine wit and sophisticated banter on the group, a few of the boys have unsubscribed. With six sons-in-law and only one daughter-in-law, that makes our chat weigh heavily to the feminine.
There we were on that day, with more than enough on our plates, when one culprit posted a clever logic puzzle. By the time I saw it, there were thirteen—THIRTEEN!—replies parsing the problem and building on each other’s comments to move towards the solution. All the responses were from the male side of the family, although two females interjected comments along the lines of, “Doesn’t anyone other than me work?” and “You have way too much time on your hands.”
For a moment, I cheered the hardworking, distaff side. Then I realized that had a cute niece/nephew/grandchild video been posted, we would have been just as easily distracted. (Though experience has shown that the men would jump into that exchange as well.) A request for a recipe would get an equally strong feminine response no matter how busy a day the women in the family were having.
The strange thing is that many of the females in our family, including me, enjoy logic problems. We just don’t find them intriguing enough to distract us from priorities. We do them for relaxation, but have no problem putting them aside. For the men, it seems that not solving the problem was the equivalent of having one’s masculinity challenged. This wasn’t an amusing lark; it was a test of virility.
The logic puzzle was resolved and everyone went back to work. Yet, in the intervening months no more problems of that sort have been posted. Considering the male/female ratio of the participants in the chat, that isn’t surprising. Things would change if we could force more sons-in-law to be involved. So, I am keeping a close eye on California because nothing screams fairness and progress like coercion.
Dear Susan,
I agree. The entire west coast has some of the most spectacular scenery to be found anywhere, as well as really fine people. That slur that I made was from my Navy days. We slurred and poked fun at every thing and everyone. Including each other. I was privileged to travel that coast from the Mexican border to Whidby Island so I have first hand knowledge of it. The Pac-NW is my favorite part. My father lived his last years in Boise and my uncle lived in Boise, Sun Vally, Enterprise and Died recently in Walla Walla. The town they liked so much they named it twice. So blessings to you and the Rabbi. And I hope you don’t take everything I say to seriously. I sometimes have a tendency let my alligator mouth get ahead of my humming bird brain.
You freind, Brian
ps: When you were in DC did you have a chance to visit Annapolis? The town has an interesting history. Also it bills itself as the “sailing capital of the world”. The water front is a forest masts and spars.
Brian, you will understand it when I say that while we do like Annapolis, after living in the NW and boating in the San Juans and British Columbia, it is hard for us to rave about the east coast.
Susan has us men figured out. For us men, solving problems isn’t just about solving problems. It is about confirming our manhood. This is a major reason why men won’t ask for directions unless there is sufficient need to do so. We weren’t taught that. At least I wasn’t.
True, David. And women get very confused when they aren’t attracted to men who aren’t problem solvers while they have been taught that there should be no difference between the genders.
Isn’t the matriarchy wonderful? The matriarchy is about using force to establish equality of outcome. Equality of outcome is another way to say communism.
If you don’t believe that women control the West then see what happens to your career if you say or do something that women don’t like.
A Mathematician Says [Female] Activists Made His Paper Disappear Because Its Findings Offended Them – Hit & Run : Reason.com Sept. 10, 2018
“Theodore Hill, a retired professor of mathematics at Georgia Tech, claims that activists successfully pressured the New York Journal of Mathematics to delete an article he had written for the academic journal because it considered a politically incorrect subject: the achievement gap between men and women at very high levels of human intelligence.”
Matt, the example you give is one of many. You can have freedom or equality. You can’t have both. Freedom is the best shot at giving a greater chance to more people.
As a daughter in the above mentioned family chat, I will reiterate that I love a good logic puzzle, but when I’m at work I don’t find it pulling enough to distract me from my job.
If I knew how to put a heart emoji in, I would.
< plus 3 makes <3 or, heart
(Unless too-fancy-for-its-own-good device replaces simple < 3 with actual heart emoji)
;D
Oh, I do see that. <3. Thank you.
You need to get an iPad! 😘😍❤️! Great Muse! My daughters time in the Navy is almost complete and she and family are moving to Dallas it looks like. Here in Colorado we have experienced the overflow of folks from both coasts that have changed the political landscape. The Denver/Boulder corridor decide far to many decisions for the whole state.
Lynn, it is always amazing to see election breakdowns by county and see how the populous cities are few, but dominate the election results.
dear mrs lapin- with regard to the first portion of your essay, may I state- let’s hear it for the eeoc- good luck to us all-val m
I’m assuming there is some sarcasm here, Val?
YOU ARE RIGHT!, but what amazes me and several people here in the Deep South and awaiting Hurricane Flo. to show her stuff, is how courteous EVERYONE is!!! While out and about preparing for it(Water/food and protecting my Rabbit Herd and Chickens it seems in Crisis the good is out more that evil…..Maybe if we ‘pretend’ to always prepare for crisis, we will all PULL TOGEATHER.
Thx for as always a GR8 POST, and tell my Rabbi ‘Howdy’…..
PS-When I can I share with ALL-‘My GOD knows no color, if your GOD knows color, we don’t have the same GOD’.
Carl, I remember a major blackout in NYC where people helped each other, were courteous etc. Unfortunately, by the next blackout a few years later, there was major looting. What do you mean, “When can I share with all?”
I use it in conversation with people in general during time out in public…Here as everywhere walls of discord are built. Recall from the book ‘The Art of War’-Divide and Conquer’ as well as another Famous Conservative Radio host says often(Dennis Prager), ‘Look for Clarity not Confrontation’
Thanks for clearing that up.
Just read “The Darkest Night”, New York Times, because of your comment. I never knew it happened. Terrible. Just Terrible.
Interesting enough some in my family left Texas for California (then the state of better of opportunity) on three separate occasions: the mid-to-late 30’s, mid-60’s, and mid-80’s. The first two groups did prosper better than the last group. They were able to secure good or better- paying positions, purchase homes, rear children, and take vacations. Sadly, the last group has not faired as well. I guess they got caught up in the many policies & regulations enacted by their politicians. They are resigned they will not be able to purchase a home in a good neighborhood in California like the two previous generations. We Texans keep the light burning for the day they will head back ‘home’ to East Texas. As for the people relocating to Texas, we are aware their values are different and expect a serious fight at the ballot box beginning in November.
Socializing is not my specialty but I do read the musings
a son-in-law
Well, you do get points for that! And for many other things as well. We just miss you on the family chat.
Dear Susan,
Nothing that the politicians of California can come up with to put a burden of there citizens surprises me. Don’t get me wrong, I have several good freinds there. Some I served with in the Navy. (One that has been like a little sister to me since babyhood is a lesbian but that doesn’t diminish my love for her). Our hearts go out those who are suffering from wildfires, earth quakes and other weather related phenomenon.
Having said all that. When I served there for four years (whenever we weren’t at sea) we jokingly call it the granola bar. “Take away the fruits and nuts and all you have left are the flakes.
Brian
Brian, the state has such incredible beauty, weather and people. We lived in S. Cal. for many years and my husband was in Northern Cal. before that. It is sad to see it deteriorate.
Come on Susan! The male readers of your musings need to see what the logic problem was!!
Phil
I will ask my husband if he remembers, Phil.