I Am Not a Terrorist

I am in an uncomfortable situation. Let me state for the record that I have never thought of hijacking an airplane let alone crashing one in a murderous attack. I reject Sharia law and am very concerned about the rising tide of Islamism whether in Europe or Manhattan. I have no desire to impose my religious views on my neighbors and fellow citizens nor to rape, mutilate, or kill any of them if they don’t submit to my views.

Why am I making these assertions? Because I am seeing more than one source unknowingly conflating me with Muslim terrorism because, in a Venn diagram depiction, we have areas of overlap.

Adolph Hitler was a vegetarian. Yet, I know of no vegetarian who faces accusations that his dietary choices put him in Hitler’s camp. Stalin rejected religion and forced his nation into atheism. But atheism is not attacked as an alarming omen of tyranny. Religious Christians have fast days and so do religious Muslims. I have not seen anyone making the connection that we should see fasting as a warning sign that someone is an extremist.

I have, however, seen more than one pundit exclaim that we might have suspected that the Omani pilot who tried to crash FlyDubai Flight 1073 was a terrorist because he refused to shake hands with women. Now, many of our readers know that my husband and I prefer not to shake hands with members of the opposite sex. Hence, my opening paragraph and my discomfort with this growing meme.

Whether you look at headlines and stories from yesterday, last month, last decade, a hundred years ago, or a thousand years ago, sexuality is clearly a challenging area of life. Sticking with our days, it is increasingly evident that modern society has botched things. Giving our daughters birth-control pills at fifteen and telling them to enjoy sexual experimentation, the wide availability of porn, and telling men and women that they are the same, have not produced mentally healthy adults of either sex. On the other hand, few Westerners want to become a society where women must be covered from head to toe, girls who chat with boys are killed by their fathers and brothers, and female genital mutilation is routine. Both ends of the spectrum, removing all historical social norms or extreme repressiveness, are problematic.

What are we to do?

That is where Torah Judaism enters the picture. Despite the fact that the majority of Jews are removed from the ideal, we are meant to be a “light unto the nations.” This is not by turning everyone into Jews; it is by upholding a standard that represents sustaining the difficult balance between mercy and justice, freedom and authority, creativity and discipline. We are not the ‘religion of love’ nor the ‘religion of law.’ We encompass both.

I acknowledge the wry truth of the statement that “everyone to the left of me is a heretic and everyone to the right of me is a zealot.” I am certainly not presenting myself as the paragon of religious Judaism. But I would like to share my thoughts.

I appreciate the complementary natures of men and women, the abundance of ideas that enter discourse when both sexes are represented, and the inventiveness that results when everyone is involved in society. At the same time, my marriage is sacred and I want to guard against anything that might harm it or —and this is especially relevant today—harm anyone’s ability to form such a blessed union.

One of the Jewish safeguards that my husband and I follow is to discourage physical contact with the opposite sex (close relatives excepted). This comes not from a revulsion or defamation of the other, but rather from an awareness of how powerful physical contact can be. It would be impossible and impractical to analyze each situation individually; better to have a general rule to follow.

There is a video circulating of Princess Kate of England holding out her hand to a Moslem representative and his politely pulling back rather than extending his own. I saw this circulating with what looked to me as an effort to defame him and his actions as backward. Now, I am not a defender of Islam, but I think the Western world can learn from this example. Before I explain what I mean, let me tell you of a similar case.

Rivkah Ravitz was Israeli president Reuven Rivlin’s chief of staff. When the president met Pope Francis, he was accompanied by his chief of staff (a mother of twelve). As happens with official Vatican business, the meeting was highly formalized, stylized, and scripted. In advance, Rivkah informed the ambassador serving as the liaison that she was not comfortable shaking a man’s hand and was told that the Pope would be informed of her religious stance (incidentally one that her boss did not share; he is perfectly comfortable shaking women’s hands when the occasion arose). Fast forward to the day. In the bustle, the ambassador forgot to convey the message.

President Rivlin approached and the Pope shook his hand. Then it was Rivkah’s turn. She admits to being incredibly nervous, but as the Pope put out his hand, she (through an interpreter) explained that her religious values prevented her putting out her own hand. Surely, the Pope did not understand the religious reasoning. But video shows him bowing courteously to Mrs. Ravitz in an acknowledgment of her taking her principles seriously. One religious person can respect the moral convictions of another.

The line between respecting other people’s ideas and submitting to them is sometimes difficult to straddle. Unlike Judaism or Christianity, Islam is an intertwined political and religious movement. Islamic culture is one of strength and domination.

When an American representative such as Nancy Pelosi or Hilary Clinton donned a scarf so as not to offend Islamic sensibilities, that was probably interpreted by Muslims as a sign of cowering. When troops that entered Saudi Arabia for Operation Desert Shield were ordered to conceal religious symbols like crosses, that was wrong and reflected a lack of our own respect for Christianity.

Eighteen-year-old Agam Berger was taken hostage on Oct. 7, 2023. She decided that she would not kowtow to her captors although her life was in their hands. When she refused to cook for them on the Shabbat or to eat non-kosher meat, she earned their respect. (She also easily could have been beaten and killed for those actions. Being principled is not necessarily always safe or easy.) Today, in the United States, too many American Christians and non-Christians are missing that self-respect and pride in their own heritage.

But I urge us to distinguish between religious practices that can coexist with the values of Western civilization, and those practices that cannot. I have no problem with a Muslim praying five times a day. I have big problems with Muslims blocking streets to pray en masse or city noise ordinances being changed to enable blaring, early morning calls to prayer from the local mosque. Those are attempts at political and cultural domination that we should not submit to or ignore.

I have no problem with Muslims eating only Halal meat just as I eat only kosher meat or my Catholic friend eats fish on Friday. I have a big problem with municipalities turning a blind eye to rape or honor killings if the offender is Muslim as has happened for years in England.

I guarantee that nobody need fear that Mrs. Ravitz is about to strap on a suicide belt or drive into crowds at a Christmas fair. If anything, her professional achievements alongside her beautiful family can evoke admiration. A world filled with the detritus of men and women who followed unhealthy sexual guidance should hesitate before condemning her practices.

A chasm exists between agreeing with Islamic attitudes towards women and espousing the sexual revolution. One extreme, where girls remain uneducated, where husbands are permitted (perhaps encouraged) to beat their wives, and where girls are married off at young ages against their will is abhorrent to me. The other extreme that ignores biology, psychology, and a spiritual dimension to the world is equally abhorrent.

The Omani pilot should have been stopped from flying because he exhibited signs of radicalization and possessed extremist writings. Not shaking hands with the opposite sex does not automatically point in that direction.

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