Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
My wife and I try to teach our boys the correct path. Does the Hebrew word חֲנֹ֣ךְ in the verse above – I’ve seen it translated as train, dedicate, and narrow – have any deeper meaning in Hebrew?
Jason B.
Dear Jason,
Your first two translations of the Hebrew verb “chanoch” in Proverbs 22:6 are both correct. However, rather than focus on one word, as important as it is, we prefer to translate the rest of the verse more carefully. It does not say ‘on the way he should go,’ but rather says ‘according to his path.’
We don’t know where the translation you saw ‘narrow’ is from, but the verb ch-n-ch conveys a sense of education, training, and dedication. This makes much sense. Education is not mainly the acquisition of facts. It is arriving at an understanding of how the world works. Knowledge is necessary for that understanding, but the purpose to which the learning is dedicated is to form a complete human being who functions competently as both a physical and spiritual being whose life has meaning.
To achieve this, parents need to have an eye on the goal and an eye on the specific child with his strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, and nature. We know many families who were blindsided when all their children did not thrive in the same school or atmosphere. Forcing all their children into one box was a disaster.
This isn’t to say, ‘anything goes.’ What needs personalized attention is how best to reach that desired endpoint for each individual child. If the pathway to attaining the goal matches the individual child’s nature, then as he matures it aligns with his growth and, indeed, he will not depart from it.
However, by far the most important and reassuring part of your letter Jason, is your phrase, “My wife and I try to teach our boys…”. You see, father and mother on the same page is perhaps the most potent factor in education and raising of children. Deuteronomy 21:18 says “If a man has a wayward and rebellious son who does not listen to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother…”. It should rather have said, “…who doesn’t listen to the voice of his parents…”.
The way the Torah presents the verse, we can clearly infer that this rebellious son does not have parents with one voice. In other words, having a father with one voice, and a mother with an entirely different voice is the road to having a wayward and rebellious son. Conversely, with father and mother on the same page we have a higher likelihood of a good outcome.
May you have blessing as you both raise your sons together,
Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin
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AAJC HAPPENING
For decades, Rabbi Daniel Lapin confidently reassured Jews about America’s future. Today, he is addressing a question he never expected to hear. Find out why in his letter Should Jews Leave America?
