I’m debating a Christian on Facebook about homosexuality. I asked him, “What is sex for,” hoping to approach this from a Natural Law standpoint. His response was, “Sex is for intimacy and closeness, to become one flesh. The most common byproduct of heterosexual unions is pregnancy, but this is by no means what sex is for.” How can I respond to this?
Thanks for all your help! God bless you and your family! ∼ Ryan
We hope you take the following answer in the spirit in which it is offered. We are not trying to be unkind, unhelpful or unsympathetic when we say, “You can’t.”
We have sometimes given the following example: Two people have a competition to see who can cause a brick to move the farthest distance. If one of those people is standing on top of a tall building and can drop the brick from there and the other person is standing on the ground, that competition cannot be fair. A brick dropped from a height is going to go father than a brick thrown upwards by even the greatest athlete. One of them has an invisible ally called gravity.
Facebook favors short sentiments, not deep ideas. If someone is willing to work hard to understand a concept, there are books and articles to read, material to view and listen to, and arguments to absorb. You can suggest resources to someone on Facebook, but we doubt that it is the right place to discuss sensitive and controversial subjects that demand deep analysis.
On Passover, we talk of the questions of the four sons: one wise, one evil, one simple and one who doesn’t know how to ask. All of us are made up, in different degrees of the characteristics of all four sons. The ‘evil’ son is described as someone who tells questions rather than asks them. He isn’t interested in what you have to say; he is only intent on his own words. We shouldn’t spend time answering such a person.
We would suggest you analyze your Facebook acquaintance. Is he a friend who is truly questioning and wants to hear opposing views? Is he someone who just likes arguing and hearing his own brilliance? Is he just a name on Facebook and you actually know nothing of his personal motivations and experiences? What about you? Are you able to truly listen or do you just want someone to listen to you? We did not see your friend’s words as an automatically outrageous statement.
Whatever the answer, either there is no point in the conversation or it should take place in a different venue.
We appreciate your blessings and encourage you to deepen your own understanding of natural law, God’s word, and how the world really works.
Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin