Hannah’s Children

One of our favorite family photographs shows our—at the time—five children playing dress-up and hanging out in the small, plastic toy house in the back yard. It was taken by a professional photographer for an article that appeared in a popular parenting magazine which focused on large families (sadly, that picture didn’t make the final cut). The article described a book written by pediatrician and mother of seven, Dr. Katherine Schlaerth, who was frustrated by how large families were depicted in medical school. The statistical and anecdotal information provided for her medical students were typically negative. She saw a stark disconnect between that information, which was often based on many children who shared one mother but had different fathers (frequently where marriage was not, and had never been, present) and the stable, loving, large families she regularly saw in her church.

Fast-forward to today, and economist and mother Catherine Ruth Pakaluk has written Hannah’s Children. Instead of asking, as so many are doing, why people are having fewer children today, she set out to talk to moms of large families and ask why they are having many children. The book largely consists of interviews and, as when I met with Dr. Schlaerth, this topic is dear to my heart.

In her analysis, many of the points that Catherine Pakaluk raises echo ones that I have written about, including her conclusion that bigger tax breaks or more maternal leave will have little or no effect on birth rates. I like the phrase she uses to sum up her interviewees’ rationale, “Reasons of the heart.” Not surprisingly, most of the moms are religiously inclined, though Dr. Pakaluk’s data shows that there is a declining birth rate even among committed Catholics and Mormons.

While enumerating the benefits of large (5+ children) families, I appreciated the author’s point that parents of one or two children seem unaware that they have already absorbed most of the personal ‘cost’ associated with children. Additional children bring more blessing with less upheaval. Many of the moms involved spoke of the increasing joy that each additional child brought, both to them and their husbands as well as to the newborn’s siblings.

While I enjoyed the book, I found it somewhat one-sided. Surely, there are some moms of large families whose husbands are not supportive and steady, and some marriages that aren’t flourishing. You wouldn’t know it from this book. While I suspect that even in difficult situations few women regret having their children, I would have appreciated meeting one or more of those moms. However, given the proliferation of media content hostile to traditional family formation, Dr Pakaluk’s book provides an important counter perspective.

The declining birth rate poses a serious challenge to stable societies around the world. Voters seduced by politicians who promise that subsidized day care and extended parental leave will reverse demographic trends would benefit from reading this book. Moreover, if every young woman who read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique (or its modern equivalent) also read Hannah’s Children they would have a more grounded and thoughtful basis for making life choices.

A recent poll from the Institute of Politics at Harvard Kennedy School shows that fewer than half of Americans under 30 say that having children is important. Meanwhile, as the popularity of marriage declines and children become fewer in number, many studies show that social isolation and lack of connection lead to depression, poor health, and other challenges. Connecting the dots between fewer people being part of large families and worse outcomes in health and happiness would be valuable.

“Reasons of the heart,” indeed.

P.S. As always, I appreciate those of you who are sharing Musings such as this one and my Substack platform with others. If I can reach one young person’s heart and lead them to be open to marriage and family, my time is well-spent.

---

What do you think? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this Susan’s Musings post.
We Happy Warrior members can both read and write comments HERE.

Not a member yet? Susan’s Musings is a reader-supported publication.
We truly appreciate those of you who sign up for a Basic membership. This lets us know we are providing value to you.

---