Ready for a quiz? Is the following news report true or false? A famous explorer just returned from his latest expedition with shocking news. He has located a remote and isolated island culture that generates electricity using the heat from nuclear reactors. What astounded him was that these islanders who had mastered nuclear and electrical technology were primitive in all other ways. They created electricity but used it only for lighting fires. They had no knowledge of medication, artificial fabrics, or transportation. They had no electrical appliances in their kitchens. In fact, they had no kitchens. They cooked outside their huts over wood fires that they ignited from huge electrical sparks obtained from their nuclear power plants. Well, what do you say? True or false?
Oh yes, I know you answered, “False,” but did you mean that you considered the story highly improbable or are you certain that it’s demonstrably untrue? The story is not only improbable but also impossible. The explorer is a fraud. There is an inevitable sequence to scientific discovery. No culture has or ever will discover the secrets of atomic structure before they understand the chemistry of the periodic table. Once people have probed the secrets of magnetism, the discovery of electricity will inevitably follow quite quickly.
This is why thousands of inventions and discoveries like reinforced concrete, refining of aluminum, and radio telephony came about through the efforts of more than one innovator working far apart from one another with no communication. Once the use of concrete and the invention of steel had both achieved maturity, combining them was an obvious next step. Not surprisingly that step occurred to several different people in different countries at about the same time. Huge bridges and towering skyscrapers soon followed.
Just as sequences are predictable in science and technology so are societal trends predictable in large gatherings of people living together. For instance, if you observed early human society discovering fire, you would accurately predict that cooking and baking would soon become ubiquitous. If you watched a later-period human society delink sex from marriage, you would accurately predict an eventual drop in the rate and durability of marriage and a climb in the number of children born to unmarried women.
Similarly, if you watched a human society in which boys remained boys prolonging adolescence into their 30s and 40s, you would accurately predict the eventual rise of what is loosely termed—feminism.
I read and hear much of men whining about women. They tell me that women don’t know what they want. Women aren’t honest. Women are bossy and pushy. Women are gold-diggers. Women are emotional. But the villain isn’t women, it’s boys who reneged on the social contract to become men. Women need men; they don’t need boys. As men morphed into boys, women filled the power vacuum. The boys obligingly surrendered.
That women are drawn to strong, confident, assertive men is clear to most normal women. Needless to say, that is a completely different statement from saying that women are drawn to adolescent brutishness and arrogance; they aren’t. Women desire to surrender themselves to a commanding and powerful man who is worthy of their love. With few such men in sight, many women, almost by automatic response, assume masculine characteristics. Naturally, the boys whine and complain never suspecting that, over time, their predecessors caused the very problems they now deplore.
Most social sequences are laid out for our understanding in ancient Jewish wisdom. For instance, this sequence I have described about masculine women (sometimes called feminists) resulting from boys reneging on their responsibility to become men, is presented to us here.
God speaking to Cain:
…and it [sin] will be attracted to you but you will be able to control it.
(Genesis 4:7)
God speaking to Eve:
…and you will be attracted to your man who will be able to control you.
(Genesis 3:16)
The Hebrew word I have translated as control is MaSHaL poorly translated in the King James and many subsequent translations as ‘rule’.
The Hebrew word meaning rule, to dominate by power, is SHaLaT
…there is a time when one man rules [SHaLaT] over another to his own pain
(Ecclesiastes 8:9)
The reference here is to one man exerting sheer power over another.
However, MaSHaL means influencing and even controlling another by spiritual forces.
When I make a significant charitable donation because my friends around me are doing so, I have been influenced by the magic of MaSHaL not SHaLaT. I was neither forced nor subjected to a ruling by someone with power over me.
When God addressed Cain (Genesis 4:7) using the word MaSHaL, clearly Cain is not able to rule over sin or suppress it by force or a powerful decree. He can only overcome it with spiritual strength. The word MaSHaL has the same meaning when God speaks to Eve. He advises her that she would feel almost irresistibly drawn to a man with the ability to control her through his spiritual strength of will-power, determination and ambition.
She would feel little attraction for a weak man incapable of controlling her. Instead, if involved socially or romantically with such a man, she would end up controlling him to the ultimate unhappiness of both.
To be sure, when the industrialization of fabric weaving was developed by Hargreaves in about 1770, it was easy to predict the eventual plentiful and affordable availability of clothing. It was even more clearly predictable that when boys stopped becoming men in about 1966, women would stop being feminine and would become feminist. It was in early 1966 that Donna Reed’s TV husband, Dr. Alex Stone vanished when ABC ended the Donna Reed Show. He was eventually replaced in popular culture by the man/boy, Peter Pan slacker and the playboy. Donna Reed also vanished and in her place came Gloria Steinem. Most men would rather marry Donna Reed than Gloria Steinem. The problem is that Donna Reed would never marry a boy. She wants a man.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Rabbi God Bless your Works, am your new Kenyan student. Glad to be here. Thank you
Thanks for writing Ben,
We are proud of our growing numbers of students in Kenya.
Cordially
RDL
I was raised by a strong willed single mother who did not spare the rod. You will never see me walking in the local mall wearing pajamas. (Actually avoid malls.) You will also never see me talking to people, especially menboys, who do the same outside their home. Man up – respectable men and women don’t wear their “feelings” on the outside. Sorry – may have gotten off the track. Also never had a problem attracting women – when I was single.
Sounds like we need more women like your mom, Frank!
Cordially
RDL
Whoa. I really need to read and meditate on this article to fully process it all. Outstanding insights indeed. Thanks!
Thanks Lisa–
Although it is generally considered bad writing style, I write all Thought Tools with the presumption that readers will devote a little time. In this way I show respect for our readers. Insignificant articles of quickly passing interest have to be written in 4th grade English and kept short. Thought Tools apply in all times and all places, not because of me but because they are merely applications of ancient Jewish wisdom. Though I do work on making sure they are always no more than 700-1,000 words long maximum. I do respect my readers’ time.
Cordially
RDL
Dear Rabbi Lapin,
What you write in this article is alright for your readers, the fact that more and more divorces are taking place and becoming the norm is evidence that either our spiritual leaders are not convincing their followers or that God’s plans are changing/evolving.From personal experience, I know that I am not the same person as one who married 50 years ago and my wife is not the same woman.
The Lapin’s columns are some of my best reading, Rabbi. We met long ago when you had a show on KVI and made public appearances for the station. I’ve been a fan ever since and, yes, you are my Rabbi though I am a nice Catholic girl! The societal changes you describe regarding men to boys and feminine women to women who have had to shoulder men’s responsibilities is where I find myself. My instincts tell me that was not God’s plan but perhaps he saw the need for women to fulfill that role when subject male abrogated his responsibilities. Interestingly enough it may have been women who 50 some years ago allowed men to eventually devolve into perpetual boyhood. God bless you and your family this Christmastide.
Thanks for writing Kristin–
Those KVI events were not only delightful opportunities to connect with listeners but they also impacted state politics. I hope you also get to occasionally hear my podcasts which I now do instead of terrestrial radio broadcasting. You can hear them here: http://rabbidaniellapin.libsyn.com/
Let me know how they compare to the old days on KVI.
This bald Jewish rabbi wishes the nice Catholic girl a joyful and uplifting Christmas
Cordially
RDL
It seems that the role put-ons which some do, while looking to copy the natural appearance of opposite gender, even to a type caricature shows why the same-sex thought is still a misfit.
Otherwise, no need would be there. The similarity of same gender would suffice.
I am a strong independant woman and I want the strong alpha male to MaSHaL me! Give me a type of John Wayne or Tom Selleck. I would rather have my husband alive, Mike the cop!
Hello Rabbi Lapin,
I had to laugh (uproariously) when I read the “man/boy, Peter Pan slacker, and playboy” line towards the end. So true. Will you write a thought tool that shows the leap from this dynamic into today’s widely liberally-promoted horror of transexualism? (Maybe it’s more of a hop than a leap.)
Thank you forever!
So where to start if you’re almost 40, and not a man yet, with countless failures behind you…?
Hey Jabe–
It’s not failures that define a man, it’s only how he reacts to them. And now, at exactly the age at which Moses took on his most important life mission, you’re perfectly situated to start reacting appropriately and start defining the rest of your life. To put it another way, it’s not yesterday that controls tomorrow; it’s what we do today! that shapes our tomorrow. Go for it, Jabe!
Cordially
RDL
Spot on Rabbi,
I am a manly man. That being said it is partly my dad, mom and wife of 32 years that makes me this way. My father, of blessed memory, taught me to always buy my mom her favorite chocolate when I went to the corner store, even if that meant my goodies were diminished. My mom always respected my dad. Only once did I see them get angry with each other. My mom was at my dad’s bedside for nearly two years as he slowly perished at a too young 52. My beautiful wife treats me the same, on my “should have been” death bed at 41 and long recovery she never left my side. Still, after all that I still revert to my old boyish ways. My wife and I live by God’s commandments, so she steps up when I’m stupid or weak. She would not put up with it for long. Being a man is a team effort.
Love you guys and all you do.
Thanks for writing Louis,
I enjoyed reading your tributes to your parents and your wife. You are the man!
Cordially
RDL
What does she do, Mr. Eisenhauer? How does your wife behave to facilitate your being a man? Please tell us younger women who have never seen this properly done. It is such a mystery to me. My fundamentalist background teaches women to accept being made a doormat. I was frankly, happy with that, until I discovered that my husband did not want to be married to a little girl, incapable of making womanly decisions. So now I try so hard to properly run our home, and make decisions as a woman, but this behavior ends up with me becoming the ruler, and my husband the little boy. How does this mysterious balance work in real life?
Dear Puzzled–
We really don’t advocate women becoming doormats or men treating them in a way that encourages that. Please listen to some of our podcasts here http://rabbidaniellapin.libsyn.com/ in order to hear more of the balance you describe. Marriage is not supposed to replicate a Mother/Son relationship nor a Father/Daughter one. It is something quite unique and needs to be modeled on its own parameters rather than on an incorrect model. I’m sure you’re doing far better than your letter suggests.
Cordially
RDL
I understand your dilemma! Been there! It helps to think of your husband as King of your domain, while you are Queen. He is the over-arching Head and leader, but he wants you to bear responsibility for areas that quite naturally come under your authority. Example; I am in charge of our personal budget, responsible for making sure it comes out right at the end of the month. Sometimes I consult my husband on certain purchases, but as a whole, he leaves it up to me. He is in charge of our business, it’s finances and decisions, and I am happy to be his consultant/advisor in that area. So while he is the final authority, there are areas that are primarily under my jurisdiction. But we’re always a team, working together, and helping each other through this busy, busy season of raising our family. It’s a beautiful life. Blessings to you!
Very beautifully put, Rachel,
thank you. Feminists jump on the old term housekeeping allowance that husbands used to provide their wives. But it wasn’t a demeaning term as in allowance given to a teenager for merely existing. No, it was simply the term in popular usage for budgeting household expenses. Hubby didn’t want to know the details; he was happy to leave them to the executive director on charge of the home–namely his wife. God bless your holy work raising your family.
Cordially
RDL
The insights you offer into biblical meaning are often stunning. This post is no exception to that observation. Spiritual strength can seldom be demonstrated other than by example. It is the truest way to lead and the best way to teach.
A Catholic educator, Mother Janet Erskine Stuart, made this observation along a parallel line: “It is not so much what we say or do that educates: what really educates is who we are.”
Thanks for your edification on this point which, in English, is so easily misunderstood and which has also caused so much misunderstanding and even resentment between the (two) genders.
Exactly, Mike,
Those already predisposed to loathe the Bible love quoting “he shall rule over you” even though that translation is incorrect.
Cordially
RDL
YHVH, omniscient, spiritual plane much more powerful and unique to humans as opposed to animals. He said our battle is spiritual, we are perfectly balance with our spouse, beautiful design!
This is really good! And any life insurance actuary could back up this statement you made. “Just as sequences are predictable in science and technology so are societal trends predictable in large gatherings of people living together.” As you may already know, actuary science relies on the “law of large numbers” to underwrite risk and guarantee stable long-term results!
Oh yes, Ben,
And of course we understand why young men are charged higher premiums for their car insurance even if the specific boys in your family and ours constitute no perceptibly higher insurance risk. I hope the ladies in your family are comfortable with the general thrust of today’s Thought Tool.
Cordially
RDL
Not only are the young ladies in our family comfortable with the thrust of this Thought Tool, they eagerly await for the men with MarSHal to step up and claim the privilege. Thanks for sharing this truth my friend. Tom
Well said, Rabbi! Wish we heard it more often.
Christina Hoff Sommers (“Who Stole Feminism? How Women Have Betrayed Women”, 1994) describes herself as an “equity feminist: a fair field and no favors” rather than a “gender feminist” with a foot on the man’s neck. She says it’s hard to get funding for her sort of research.
Thanks for writing Deb,
Christina is great. Got to know her years ago and happy she’s survived. It is certainly hard for her to get funding but at least they haven’t succeeded in destroying her career which is what they usually do to all who defy the orthodox doctrines.
Cordially
RDL