While conspiracy theories get a bad rap, I am becoming increasingly uneasy about a disturbing trend. Too frequently, I have been encountering seemingly disconnected events that, mysteriously, all lead in the same direction–that of breaking down families. Is family dissolution an inevitable consequence of modern life or is this being deliberately manufactured? Whether the destruction of family life in the United States is random or being foisted on unsuspecting and naive Americans by malevolent forces, it does seem to be happening.
I’ve written more than once about how young people are discouraged from marrying and from having children. This time, I’d like to write about the move to cut young people off, not from their future but from their past. A shocking number of adults are encouraged by therapists to disassociate from “toxic parents.” The term toxic parents doesn’t refer to truly abusive mothers and fathers. Rather, it means non-perfect ones—such as all of us.
But I want to describe a new twist of which I have become aware. Young people who mean well, who are acting counter-culturally by marrying and having children, are being told by “Science” to keep distant from their own parents. Just when they need pairs of experienced hands and emotional backing, they are urged to push their own parents away. I don’t know if this information is being conveyed in pediatric offices or simply being disseminated on internet chats and (unhelpful) ‘mom-blog’ support groups, but I have now heard three different examples of this pattern. Not only do I personally know the individuals involved, but all are regular attendees at a church or synagogue.
Example 1: New parents were advised that it would be dangerous to fly with their healthy newborn for the first three months of his life even though one of their grandmothers was only going to be in the country for a short while. Her fragile health did not allow her to go to her great-grandchild, and they were advised not to travel to her.
Example 2: Another set of fledgling parents explained that their own parents would not be allowed to visit if they did not get a flu shot. The parents were put in the position of doing something they felt was medically inadvisable for them or not being permitted to share in a milestone family event.
Example 3: Parents of somewhat older children discouraged their own parents from visiting too often because they might confuse the children with their different style of communication. This wasn’t a case of the older generation deliberately undermining the young parents. It was a case of, “You don’t walk, talk, and laugh exactly as we do so exposure to you will cause irreparable confusion and harm to our children.”
Meanwhile, the media laments an increase in postpartum depression and wails about how parents are overwhelmed. Yet, the traditional source of postpartum and family help, the immediate family, is being denied. It’s almost as if there’s an attempt to make normal life unbearable. Furthermore, there is a cutting off of roots, history, and connections that have traditionally provided identity and meaning to the next generation.
Marxist theory sees the family as a capitalist tool. Islamists seek to destroy the Great Satan, the United States. Is it truly a conspiracy theory to wonder if that shared goal is uniting those who recognize that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” even in a short-term alliance? Are there nefarious dots to connect or simply an increasingly sick culture dominated by technology that magnifies the most strident and strange voices while suppressing sanity?
This month’s Live Chat (next Tuesday!) gives us this chance to expand on this topic and share practical advice for protecting our families. I look forward to seeing you there!
P.S. Lisa B., I ended up writing about the difference between encyclopedias and AI on my Substack page, spurred by your comment on an Ask the Rabbi post. I’d love for you (and anyone else who is interested) to take a look at what I wrote. Here’s the link: https://susanlapin104899.substack.com/p/ai-and-curiosity.
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Join the Conversation!
Every month, our Special Access Members gather live with Rabbi Daniel and Susan Lapin for an interactive, real-time chat.
This Month’s Topic:
Honor Your Father and Mother vs. Parental Estrangement
Do Your Children Need You More than You Need Them?
🗓 Live on November 11, 2025
5:00 PM PST / 8:00 PM EST
This is a thoughtful and heartfelt discussion you won’t want to miss.
I totally agree with you , it seems the new advisers are the ones that need to see a therapist, Our whole culture is based on preserving family values , the politicians have raved on about the importance of family but lately some of them seem to have done a 180 degree Turn. Is this in the interests of big money?
I’m not seeing the money trail here, David. I’d like to hear more about where this would be. I do see it as aiding the socialist goal of the destruction of the family.
Yes, I think you are correct. There is a temporary alliance between Marxist and Muslims. Now, we need to strengthen our alliances on the Right.
Meanwhile, Debbie, there are many trying to fracture the Right or to twist it into something unrecognizable. The battle never ceases.
I would like to thank Rabbi and Mrs Lapin for the difference they have made in my life. I started watching your show on TCT years ago, initially by pure accident, and it became my favorite television program. Afterwards I began to read and collect your books. I never realized how I had been programmed to fail and to think so wrongly. The initial book I read was Thou Shall Prosper, and I was so distressed by the things I read I literally threw the book in the burn barrel. It stayed there for about a month, being rained on and exposed to the hot South Texas sun. One day I walked by the barrel and saw it, and felt really guilty for doing that to a book. So, I cleaned it off and took it back into my house and began reading it again, some of the pages being damaged and stuck together. This time my heart and mind were able to process what was really in it. I immediately started to see the world differently. It made a difference.
My life is on the right track now and I have a good income, a happy family, and a much better relationship with man and Almighty G-d. Thank you. I thank G-d for your influence in my life as well as the many lives you have touched, and pray that you have many more healthy and productive years ahead. Adíos!
Wow! What a way to go into our weekend, Lee. You are unusual person to persist (even after a break) with something that made you uncomfortable. Delighted that your life is on track.
Hi Lee,
Rabbi Daniel and Susan are always humbled to hear how the work reaches people in their real lives, and your message is a beautiful example of that. Thank you for sharing it.
Since you mentioned discovering the teachings through the Ancient Jewish Wisdom show on TCT, we wanted to let you know that you can continue watching those episodes directly on our website. If you’d like to explore that, here is the link:
https://www.wehappywarriors.com/offers/xxr4QtYT/checkout
Blessings ~RDL Admin