One of the most sensually satisfying things I’ve ever done was building a seventeen-foot sailing boat out of oak and spruce, plywood and glue, bronze screws and canvas. If I close my eyes, I can still smell the aromatic sawdust. After eight months of part-time, loving labor, launch day was almost an anticlimax. It floated, I climbed aboard, hoisted sail, and glided off across the lake.
No surprise there; I had purchased plans from an accomplished New Zealand naval architect, Richard Hartley, and followed them diligently. What is more surprising is that I later built another boat which also floated. This one was nearly forty feet long and was constructed from steel and cement. Yes, you read that correctly. Its hull was a one-inch thick sandwich of steel and cement. I was not at all surprised when, on launch day, it not only floated but floated exactly to its waterline which I had already painted in bright red on the hull.
Why wasn’t I surprised? Because I had purchased plans from a designer in Vancouver who was a recognized expert in ferro-cement boats and I had followed all details diligently. What percentage of the boats and ships that are built by large shipyards or by serious amateurs float? Actually, about one hundred percent.
We have friends in Nevada who are constructing a small airplane in their garage. They are among the thousands of ultra-light aircraft enthusiasts around America who have built their own small airplanes. What percentage of these airplanes fly? Actually, about the same as the percentage of airplanes built by Boeing that fly—one hundred percent.
The same goes for houses and skyscrapers. Just like boats and planes, one can construct a house or a skyscraper knowing that if directions are followed, the building will stand. One hundred percent of buildings constructed according to currently understood engineering principles stand. We’ve been constructing boats and buildings for a long time. We know what works and why.
However, although we have been getting married and building businesses for thousands of years, neither of these two enterprises offer anything near the same likelihood of success. This is puzzling. After all, there are countless books on starting a business and getting married just as there are entire libraries providing guidance on building boats, planes, and houses. We ought to be able to absorb the necessary data and embark on life as an entrepreneur or as a spouse with as much chance of success as ship builders, airplane builders, and home builders. Yet we all know that the percentage of new businesses and new marriages that succeed long term is well below the figure for ships, planes, and skyscrapers. Why would that be?
As usual, ancient Jewish wisdom leads us to the Scriptural solution. God directed Moses how to build the Ark of the Covenant and then told him to place inside it “…the testimony which I shall give you.” (Exodus 25:16)
God directed Moses to build the Table and then told him, “And you shall set the bread of display upon the table…(Exodus 25:30)
God directed Moses to build the Menorah and then told him, “…and they shall light its lamps…(Exodus 25:37)
However, when God directed Moses to build the altar (Exodus 27:1-8) the construction details were not followed by what to do with the altar as was the case with the Ark, the Table and the Menorah.
Ancient Jewish wisdom explains that the entire purpose of building the Ark was to place inside it the Tablets; the Table, to place upon it the bread; and the Menorah to light it. But building the altar had purpose and meaning in itself.
In our attempts to replicate the Tabernacle in our own homes by making them suitable dwelling places for God, the altar symbolizes the marital bedroom and also the source of sustenance. In other words, the altar is linked to both marriage and our means of earning a living—our businesses.
The Ark, the Table and the Menorah were physical objects and building them resembled building boats, planes, and homes. However, the altar was a spiritual entity and building it was meaningful in itself.
A ship is built for the purpose of launching it; an airplane is built for the purpose of flying it; a building is constructed for the purpose of occupying it.
However, a marriage needs no other purpose to exist. Its very existence provides meaning. Certainly, it is the best place to raise children and adds to the health and income of the spouses, but even without those things it has meaning. And a business, though obviously needing to provide goods and services and make a profit, often gives its owners and operators significant meaning and purpose in life even during the start-up years when it may well not yet be profitable.
If I spot someone erecting a building, I might well ask, “What’s it for?” But if someone tells me they’re getting married, I wouldn’t ask, “What for?”
Yes, there are libraries of information on how to build physical objects like boats, planes, and houses. And you will only fail by ignoring those physical directions. Happily for successfully building spiritual entities like marriages and businesses, there is also information available but it is naturally spiritual information. It is as reckless to start a marriage or launch a new money-making enterprise without consulting and following the spiritual blueprints.
Dearest Rabbi,
Spiritual Blue prints for Business and Marriage very thought full to lead a happy life…do we get a blue print how to connect G-D… by all means…
Shalom Rabbi
Oh yes, Sundeep Emmanuel,
Indeed. http://www.RabbiDanielLapin.com
Cordially
RDL
Dear Rabbi
I really appreciate your teaching from ancient Jewish wisdom!
You said:
It is as reckless to start a marriage or launch a new money-making enterprise without consulting and following the spiritual blueprints
My question is now: Where do I find those spiritual blueprints??
Thank you so much in advance!
Kind regards
Leo
Dear Leo:-
Though I am sure there are plenty other sources, the ones with which I am most familiar of course are those created by Mrs. Lapin and the undersigned. You can read about the marriage resources here and the business ones here
Cordially
RDL
Thanks for the wonderful thoughts Rabbi Lapin,
Its quite true building the physical things like boats, tables are easy if you follow instructions and you can physically see them. But for a marriage its not physical you cannot touch it or feel it, just like if i was watching Ancient Jewish Wisdom for the first time i would not know that Susan and You are married, it would appear as if you two are the hosts of the program.
Also there is no definite formula to a successful marriage am guessing because we all have different characters so what works for one couple may not work for another.
My Question Rabbi, is it possible for one to assess their marriage as a successful one? what would you look at or what does Ancient Jewish Wisdom say about marriages.
Am definitely going to get my self a copy of your spiritual tools from my next pay check. I love your teachings and thoughts they really give you a bright perspective.
Thank you and may God bless you for the work.
Dear Ramsey:-
Thanks for writing. I am interested in your question regarding whether one can assess a marriage as successful. The Russian novelist, Leo Tolstoy opened his wonderful story, Anna Karenina with these words that I think have some truth to them: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. But I suspect that my corollary might be as true: “Each successful marriage is unique but all squabbling couples look the same”. Furthermore, only the couple itself can rate the marriage. Nobody on the outside really knows anything about someone else’s marriage. This is part of the exclusivity covenant; a sort of pact of privacy. Nobody in a successful marriage discusses their spouse with an outsider. Your observation about marriages and businesses being spiritual unlike boats buildings, and planes is of course correct. It is far easier to rate physical objects than spiritual.
Cordially
RDL
I’ve started a new business journey and I’ve apparently been reckless and haven’t even consulted or followed a spiritual blueprint…is there still help for me?
Dear Marchel:-
Plenty people without a roadmap still reach their destinations. Some have a rough idea of their direction, others go from recalling an earlier trip while yet others are just plain lucky.
The principles of electricity were discovered and first understood by intellectual giants of the 19th century. The electrician who wired my new building last month knows little to nothing of the underlying principles of how electrons are propelled along conductors but he knows the practical consequences of those principles. He knows how to install wires and ground fault interrupters and all else of the trade. Similarly, though I think it is helpful and worthwhile to know the underlying principles of money and marriage and to understand them, one can certainly manage adequately knowing the practical do’s and don’ts of marriage and business. So, I’m sure you’re fine.
Good luck.
Cordially
RDL
Amen and Amen.
Shalom, Brian
Shalom Brian.