February 2011

You Owe $36.52 More or Less – originally posted July 29, 2009

My bank and I rarely agree on how much money is in my account. This is a circuitous way of saying that despite the fact that I do know how to add and subtract as well as use a calculator, I can’t seem to reconcile my bank statements accurately. As long as the bank thinks...

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Never Marry Your Grandmother

“My boyfriend is driving me crazy! Does he want to get married or not?” “My husband and I were both thrilled when I became pregnant. But when I mention the baby, he sometimes gets this terrified look on his face. Is he happy about our baby nor not?” The answer is…drum roll please…Both! The author...

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Blackberry Bamboozlement

When my husband and I were first married, he was the rabbi of a dynamic synagogue. Most of the congregants were young, single and new at developing a relationship with God. They walked out of my husband’s Torah classes with heads full of exciting and thought-provoking ideas. In the years leading up to our marriage, a few...

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The Husband Always Rings Once

A couple we know was showing my wife and me around their newly built house. I always feel a little awkward when proud homeowners display their master bedroom. Because the bedroom is the special place for intimacy and privacy in a marriage, being there makes me feel like I’m trespassing. I don’t want to be...

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One Husband is Enough

Language matters. That is why politicians persist in saying ‘investment’ rather than ‘tax’, and disguise their votes as opposing ‘budget cuts’ rather than promoting ‘a smaller than desired budget increase’. It’s why people talk of pro-choice rather than pro-abortion. A rose by any other name might smell as sweet but call it a ‘putrid bloom’...

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Trial by Mouth – originally published Jan. 28, 2009

    Celebrity endorsements can mean a great deal to a company. So we thought it a tremendous coup when Illinois Governor (though probably not for long) Blagojevich give an unsolicited plug for our audio CD, Perils of Profanity: You Are What You Speak. After all, while the governor is not being impeached for his vulgar...

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It’s the Genes, Stupid – originally posted Feb. 2007

    February. An often bleak, cold and dark month. This may be the reason why, aside from the obvious commercial implications, cheerful, bright, pink and red valentines endlessly bombard us as soon as February approaches. For women’s magazines the theme of the month’s issue is pre-ordained – romance. Generally this means that even more clap trap...

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One in a Million

A neighbor of mine is passionate about sports and the father of four young boys. Even though I’m only a casual acquaintance, I can see how different each of his sons is. Though the third boy clearly has the soul of an artist and just wants to be left alone to draw and paint, he...

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It’s the Genes, Stupid

                                    I wrote this in Feb. 2007, but I do think that it deserves a reprise this time of year. February. An often bleak, cold and dark month. This may be the reason why, aside from the obvious commercial implications, cheerful, bright, pink and red valentines endlessly bombard us as soon as February approaches. For...

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Thank God for Ordinary Folk – originally posted July 2, 2009

I’ve been spending more time in the car than usual lately, and that has exposed me to the top of the hour news. By the end of last week my outlook on the world was pretty bleak. You might think that news of repression in Iran, threats from N. Korea and the House of Representatives...

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